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Voice of Reason: Finding new phrases for ineptitude

Editor's Note: Each Wednesday during the regular season, NoLogoNeeded.com asks the “Voice of Reason” to weigh in on all issues Browns related. The Voice of Reason is not a pen name of one of the three staff writers. No, he is a Browns fan that takes an off-beat view once a week. Some can even argue it is more of a level-headed view.

By The Voice of Reason
NoLogoNeeded.com Contributing Writer

It seems every week the Browns hit a new low. In all seriousness, The Voice didn’t think that they could sink any lower than they did in the Green Bay game. Boy, was I wrong. If we here at No Logo Needed thought that game was rock bottom we’re going to have to start coining new phrases just to be able to describe what we see each successive week. How about boulder bottom? Monolith bottom? Or where the Browns are surely headed after losing this week’s game to Detroit – tectonic plate bottom?

OK, since it’s apparent that your buddy, The Voice of Reason, didn’t do so well in geology class let’s dissect the ineptitude on display during the Monday nighter.
First of all, the Browns failed to cross the Ravens’ 45-yard line all game. Think about that for a minute. No really, go ahead. I’ll wait…. That’s atrocious. If I play touch football with my 6 -ear old nephew in the back yard he’s surely going to slither by me at least once in 60 minutes. Yet, the Browns could do nothing. Imaging them playing the CFL where the field is 10 yards longer! As the Voice sees it, General Custer fared better at Little Big Horn than the Browns did against the Ravens (at least we know for certain that Custer left it all out on the field).

The offensive execution was abysmal with Quinn and receivers not being on the same page numerous times, the line not blocking, and Brady struggling with accuracy all game. Now, a lot of this could potentially be explained away by noting that the constant shuffling of players in and out does not allow for anyone to develop a rhythm or for the unit to have any sort of rapport. While this may be true in a game sense, isn’t that what practice is for? (And according to Jamal Lewis, they’re getting more than enough of that.)

What isn’t excusable is Brady Quinn’s inability to keep the ball in the proximity of his downfield receivers. Twice, at the end of the game, Cleveland tried to stretch the field by sending a receiver streaking down the sideline. Twice, Brady Quinn’s passes sailed 10 yards to the right of the receiver and out of bounds.

So needing a quick score (or even just to put some yardage in the stat sheet) Quinn was trying to not throw interceptions instead of trying to complete passes and make something happen. I’m no fan of Anderson, but at least he would have kept those balls in play and given a teammate a chance to make a play. And if the Browns’ quarterbacks can’t throw the ball 40 yards down the sideline while keeping it in play can we get a rule change that allows Zastudil punt it out there rugby-style?

If you think that the offense is regressing back to the early expansion years, you’d be wrong – but only because those offenses were better. At their current rate of lighting up the scoreboard the Browns are set to have their lowest points per game average since their return (and probably in franchise history) at 8.7 points per game. The 1999 and 2000 Browns scored 13.6 and 10.1 points per game, respectively. With Detroit and Oakland left to play this may change but that would involve the Browns actually scoring touchdowns so I wouldn’t bet on it.

While Monday’s game itself was putrid (sans another valiant effort by an overmatched defense) the real low blow was the reckless play as time ran out. For those that had left the stadium, turned the television off, or simply didn’t tune in; allow me to recap.

Down 16-0, the Browns decided to play “hot potato” with ball and ran a hook and ladder which saw the ball pitched between several players before the Ravens snuffed it out. Now, typically this sort of play is used when a team is desperate for a tying or winning score – not a team that is down 16 points. Always wanting to figure out how things work and what people’s motivations are The Voice did some digging into what caused this seemingly unnecessary play to unfold.

After perusing the NFL rule book, I stumbled upon this little known fact.

Rule 11, Section 2, Article 1.4 states:

“Points are awarded as a touchdown when a runner advances the ball over the plane of the goal line. In the event that the scoring team trails by more than six points with under one minute of game time remaining, bonus points will be awarded on the basis that every offensive member having touched the ball at least once during a succession of non-forward laterals. One bonus point will be added for each player that touches the ball during the ensuing play with the minimum points awarded being 17 (six-touchdown, 11-for all offensive players having touched the ball). In the event that the ball gets passed off more than 11 times, repeat touches of the ball by offensive players will count toward additional bonus points assuming that all 11 offensive members have at least one possession of the ball on the play.”

Sounds confusing, right? Well, had the Browns pulled this off they would have won at least 17-16. So I’ll give credit where credit is due and commend Mangini for his meticulous understanding of the complex NFL rulebook. Even if this ridiculous play did knock out his best player for the season.

While this game was horrid, at least the media believes the Ravens to be a decent football team. The same can’t be said for Detroit. If the Browns lose this one any semblance of morale left will be gone. But on the bright side, if the Browns lose yet again I get to make up a few new phrases next week!

November 18, 2009 at 10:31 AM

Voice of Reason: Finding new phrases for ineptitude

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